Fear and Fatigue

I can't remember the last time I actually felt well. I don't know what is going on, but somethings not right. I've been trying hard to get off all of this Pain Medication which is frustrating within itself. So Tired, So Achy, So Much Pain. But, the medication is simply false hope. And I can't imagine what it's done to My body. Everything seems to be give and take and it's really irritating. So many people take so much for granted and as much as I can, I try and appreciate everything. So, I ask Myself, What am I Missing? What can I learn from this? As much as I try, I can't figure it out. I'm Blessed with the opportunity to continually learn many things, but mainly Humility. The Human side of Me is conflicted with the Relationship I have with God. I do get frustrated and feel ready to Go to Heaven. In the next moment, I know I'm not ready yet. I have things to do. Many things to do. I know that I am here for a reason with differences to make. There are so many Blessings that I can concisely acknowledge and things that I don't are endless. I'm ready to go home. Back to Heavenly Father. But there is too much work I have left to do on this earth. I'm scared, but I know everything happens for a reason.